The email you are about to read is a real email sent out to a real company:
To: email@example.com on 12 September 2011 10:04:36
My name is Cliff Elberez. I’ve recently discovered your online catalogue and quite frankly I am in awe of your pieces, in particular the “Flying Beasties”. I have recently taken up pottery myself as I find it to be an interesting and emotional pastime. I am emailing because lately I have started making pottery pies. My girlfriend Gretna absolutely loves my pieces and tells me that I am a talented and complicated artist with raw natural talent. It was actually her idea for me to contact you to see whether you’d be interested in me supplying you with these wonderful pottery pies for you to sell. Furthermore, some of my unique pottery pies have faces on them and some of those faces are doing rather silly things. I am working on a piece at the moment which is a pie blowing a kiss. Some say that it’s not apparent that this is what the pie is actually doing and that the pie seems to have more sinister and perverse motives. I’ll leave that up to you to decide as I have attached a photograph of the pie to this email.
I ask that you please get back to me as I am taking this career move very seriously.
Clay pie enthusiast.
There was no picture of a clay pie attached to this email.