Cliff Elberez’s Top 10 Food Related Films of All Time.

Love Film? Love Food? Well put your hands together as we count down the top 10 food related films of all time. Some may be loosely related to food, some may be more about eating and some well, may be about doing “other” things with food, but the theme is FOOD nonetheless.

So get comfortable, grab an iced bun and some popcorn as we countdown:

Cliff Elberez’s Top 10 Food Related Films of All Time.

10. Supersize Me

It’s a film about McDonald’s people! A 24½ lbs weight gain, 13% body mass increase, cholesterol level of 230, mood swings, sexual dysfunction and fat accumulation on the liver aside, I love McDonalds. This film sends out an anti junk food message but I’m a firm believer that if you eat anything for breakfast, lunch and dinner for a solid month you will suffer health issues. Imagine if you ate raw turnip for a month solid. That shit would mess you up. Double Cheeseburgers (or as I more affectionately refer to them as“Dub Che’s”) are probably one of the best things ever created (along with the television and boiled egg slicers).

Quote: I think the saturated fats are cutting off the blood flow to his penis.

Rating 2/5 – I wont have anyone talking shitabout my first love…The Big Mac!

9. Layer Cake

I was as stunned as the rest of the world when I realised that the film Layer Cake did not feature a single cake. So maybe you wouldn’t think that a British crime thriller with Daniel Craig would be set in or even near a bakery, but come on, they could’ve at least had a cake in the background or something. The title actually refers to the human social strata, especially in the British criminal underworld, as well as the numerous plot layers in the film. I picked it as my number 10 because layer cakes are bloody amazing. I mean just look at this one.

Quote: England. Typical. Even drug dealers don’t work weekends.

Rating 3/5 – Quite a good twist, not enough cake.

 

 

8. Nacho Libre

Have you ever taken up wrestling to buy better quality food for orphans? I have, and let me tell you, it’s exhausting. Ignacio (Jack Black) on the other hand makes it look easy as pie in Nacho Libre. Believe it or not this slapstick comedy was loosely based on the story of a real life Mexican Catholic Priest who had a 23-year career as a masked Luchador. It is with great pride that I inform you that the luchador in question is in fact my father (Elberez could be Mexican). Don’t make the same mistake as those who rented “Nacho Libre” expecting something along the lines of “Inception”. It’s just a bit of fun and great to watch if you’re hungover or if you’ve just been fired by your current employer for refusing to relocate to Bratislava for three months.

Quote: When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It’s for fun.

Rating 3/5 – Hilariously silly, but doesn’t have Keira Knightly in it.

7. Delicatessen

So we’ve had the documentary, the mob film and the comedy- queue the arty foreign film that’s been added to make me seem more cultured and refined and shit. This film is French and about some bloke who owns a butchers and posts job opportunities in the paper as means to lure victims to the building, whom he murders and butchers as a cheap source of meat that then sells to his tenants. It’s a comedy. No seriously, it’s a black comedy and it’s actually good. This is the first of two cannibal films to make the top ten. There’s a short scene with people eating biscuits in it though, I promise.

Quote: You think this is a safari, bitch?

Rating 3½/5 – Watch out for the resident woman who continuously fails to commit suicide.

6. Julie and Julia

If you’re like me and sometimes eat too much butter on your toast or potato, or if you just eat butter straight from the tub with a spoon sometimes because you’ve run out of food in your flat due to working a lot of evening shifts and you haven’t really had a chance to go food shopping, then you should like this film. Apart from the excellent performances in the film the food in itself is enough to warrant it being worth a watch. Just thinking about the food in this film is making my stomach growl. Where’s the clover? It’s cool, I’ll just eat around all the toast crumbs.

Quote: It tastes like… cheese sauce. Yum.

Rating 3½/5 – Meryl Streep looks very tall in this film. That’s all. Oh, and watch it if you want.

5. Waitress

In the spirit of Cliff Elberez, let’s get back to Pie. This “under the radar” film’s central character works in Joe’s Pie Diner, where her job includes creating inventive pies with unusual titles inspired by her life, such as the “Bad Baby Pie” she invents after her unwanted pregnancy is confirmed. I never say this, but enough about Cliff for a minute because this film is brilliantly quirky, original and incredibly underrated. This is the kind of film that makes me want to write films. Its character driven and explores small-town characters and modest locations and finds the perfect balance between comedy and drama. If you watch only one film from this bunch, make it this one.

Quote: I don’t care if she is a pie genius. I wouldn’t trade places with her.

Rating 4/5 Think Juno but with pies. Many, many pies.

4. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory

When I was a child, before I found food, I found Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. I used to watch this film so much that I broke the VHS copy that I even used to take on holiday with me. I loved it when the fat kid got caught in the tube and I loved it when the horrible girl turned into a massive blueberry. Charlie got on my tits a bit but that’s neither here nor there (The actor who played Charlie is actually now a Vet- true story) and I’m not ashamed to say that the oompa-loompas scared the absolute shit out of me. I used to open galaxy chocolate bars expecting to see a gold ticket inside, which was around the time I really started getting into chocolate. Maybe the big mac wasn’t my first love after all.

Quote: Where is fancy bread? In the heart or in the head.

Rating 4/5 A nostalgic classic with small terrifying orange people who sing songs of misfortune and woe.

3. Ratatouille

I think I speak for everyone when I say “Ratatouille is sick!”.  (1. Sick: meaning crazy, cool, insane). In my eyes, all Disney Pixar films are amazing (apart from Cars but I don’t begrudge anyone for liking it, it’s just not for me). Toy Story 3 probably should’ve won best picture at the Oscars and I’ll decapitate anyone that says otherwise. Ratatouille tells the story of Remy, a teenaged rat gifted with a highly developed sense of smell that, long story short, ends up working in a top Paris restaurant. It’s all about the food of course and even though the food is obviously animated it still looks kind of delicious. I mean, I would.

Quote: Ratatouille doesn’t sound delicious. It sounds like “rat” and “patootie.” Rat-patootie, which does not sound delicious.

Rating 4/5 That’s right 4 stars and what? I’d give Wall-E 5 stars!

2. Silence of the Lambs“Hello Clarice. How’s it going?” It’s our second film about cannibalism but this one isn’t so much a comedy as a sophisticated psychological thriller. The premise is about an FBI agent who is assigned to help find a missing woman to help save her from a serial killer who skins his victims, and before you ask, NO Jennifer Aniston isn’t in this one- you’re thinking of Marley and Me. Obviously this film is a classic and Anthony Hopkins performance could be considered the best of his career (which says a lot). Don’t make the rookie mistake I made by watching this film whilst eating a microwavable chilli con carne. It’ll all end in tears and probably Rennie.

Quote: A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Rating 4½/5 Watch this film in a dark, dull space.

1. American Pie It says a lot about me as a person that an Oscar winning film was beat to the post by a teen comedy most famously renowned for its sex scene between Jason Biggs and a pie, but once again I don’t give a shit. I think American Pie paved the way for a lot of disgustingly great comedies. OK, so they got ridiculous when it was all about Stifler’s second cousin going off to college but I try to not associate them as the same films in my head. I’ve got high hopes for The American Reunion due out in 2012 but even if its crap nothing can take away the pure hilarity, vulgarity and genius that the first film gave us. It’s the film that defined a generation. Well, that and Big Momma’s: Like Father, Like Son.

Quote: This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my p****.

Rating 5/5 I really feel like it now. I mean watching the film not having sexual intercourse with a pie.

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