To: email@example.com on 26/09/2011 (Sadly Undelivered)
Dear Jym Bagtaz,
My name is Cliff Elberez and I am an avid fan of Uncool Niece. I’ve recently been saddened by the fact that the website http://www.uncoolniece.com isn’t functioning anymore.
I don’t know whether you are a member of Uncool Niece or whether you’re their agent or something but I’d very much like to enrol in any fan clubs they may have. Do they have any fan clubs available?
I’ve been a struggling musician myself and I know how rough it can be. I released a single on an independent British label earlier this year; it was an urban rock electro pop stomper with classical routes called “Won’t Budge an Inch”. The critics and the public hated it. One magazine referred to it as a “Pile of tortoise excrement”. Anyway, forget about them. I’m sure even the legendary Hall and Oates suffered rejection at times.
If you could get back to me with any updates about Uncool Niece I’d really appreciate it because I bloody love em’.
Delivery to the email “firstname.lastname@example.org” unfortunately failed. In my quest to learn more about Uncool Niece I searched the internet for valid contact details for the Brooklyn based, fast paced rock pop trio, but was incredibly unsuccessful.
I did however find this message underneath the invalid contact details:
“No CD yet, trying to get some $ first…3 piece band…
UNCOOL NIECE NEVER GOT THE BREAK THEY DESERVE.